Mail Box trail is a magical treasure hunt of sorts for the hardy.
In addition to the beautiful views and steep trails the Mail Box at the top of the hike holds the secret of life.
Julia, a daring adventurous sole, broke free of the crowd of panting exhausted hikers, slowly crawling towards the mail box, delirious with thirst she was driven by an unexplainable need to know what was in the Mail Box. After what seemed like an eternity she took firm hold of the mail box door handle. Eyes closed, breath held and her strength dwindling she tugged at the flimsy mail box door. It yielded to her vast strength and opened. At first the blazing sun and sweltering heat created an illusion of dark shadows in the mail box. She feared the box to be empty, the meaning of life lost. Slowly her eyes adjusted to the darkness and a fuzzy object came into view. Was this it? Could it be? Her hands searched the object top to bottom. Then between the hard horizontal planes she found the soft pages of knowledge the world seeks.
Yes ... she had discovered the answers to her questions.
Green Eggs and Ham by Dr Seuss.
Of course why didn't I know that? Now if she had only read the book aloud to the forest creatures, next time maybe.
See Julia's comment for the more accurate description of this hike, I had to work and I can not tell you how disappointed I am as I bet you are that a great time was missed. Before reading on you should know Woody is not Larissa's boy friend.)
Oh and which way was that trail head?
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It takes true friendship (Larissa), rose-colored glasses (Marty), or too few brain cells (Julia and Woody) to decide to get up at 5:30 just to spend six hours on the Mailbox Peak stair-master. There is no “off” button, esp. with Doreen and Merle charging up the hill.
My only glee was in watching Merle squirm at Starbucks as I sipped my Americano and exhaled in his direction. Doreen was social-climbing with the KCSO boys one table over. They were giving their best guesses as to the length of the hike. Answer: About three miles and 4,000 elevation gain.
Now, I shouldn’t advertise that this was Doreen’s third time up since we somehow MISSED the trailhead and continued to hike a mile up the road. Luckily, two innocent looking hunters coming down informed us the trailhead was behind us. “Nice warm-up,” I whispered to my knees.
Once on the trail, which winds through a fairytale forest, I was yelling at my knees, or was that Doreen? This hike sucks! Not really, I was pretending just like Larissa and Marty that this was no problem and was really really fun. We were thankful for the abundant shade. In the clearings, the views were spectacular. Mt. Rainier was in its glory; so were the many logging roads crisscrossing the hills.
Half-way up we allowed three young hikers to pass us. One wonderful male was carrying two gallons of water. Merle was sitting uphill and in a most friendly way asked, “Are we having fun yet?” The female responded, “If you don’t like a challenge, you shouldn’t be up here.” Then followed it up with, “anyone can walk around Greenlake.” Did I actually hear her “dis” Greenlake? I knew immediately she was socially challenged and needed prayer. Merle, however, much to my dread and potential heart condition, decides to crank up the speed. I won’t lower this expose with where my brain waves took me at that time…
Near the summit, we saw the magical mailbox and nearly sprinted to the top. Food! Merle and I had finished off our water 2/3 of the way up but were being brave. Guess what? There are two mailboxes up there. One has a spiral notebook with names and dates and very ugly doodling; the other, the Dr. Seuss book, “Green Eggs and Ham.” Sweet. (Ann – the coloring book was gone. You must hike up again.)
The view is a breathtaking 360. I pull out my Costco trail mix. Marty pulls out cherries and raspberries, smoked salmon with cream cheese and crackers, and almond M&M’s. He is everyone’s best friend now, but particularly dog’s best friend. Woody bided his time, and struck with lightening speed, to take off with the salmon. Luckily, grabbing mostly the skin. With all of these treats, I am feeling the thirst and dreading the hours hiking down. When, like an angel sent to us, the wonderful male with the water comes over and fills Merle’s and my containers.
He also gave Woody a drink which saved us from witnessing the disturbing event of Larissa giving Woody a drink. As we start down, another hiker says, “Is that the tube-feeder dog?” “Oh no,” Larissa corrects him, “I take water like this.” She sucks in a mouthful from her tubing, bends over Woody, and spits out the water onto his head. Woody tilts his head up at an angle and gets about half the water into his mouth. This is just sick and I’m embarrassed to have to write it here; but it did happen and you deserve a full account. (I was equally dismayed when Doreen did this to the little prince, Bowie, when we walked Discovery Park. Water splashed over Bowie’s nose as he looked up at her with a confused expression.)
The 120-degree cars never looked so inviting. Larissa and I were speed-walking to the parking lot. All I could think of was taking off my tried and true boots which had never produced blisters, but had betrayed me, and my big toes were screaming to be free. Sitting on the Sub’s tailgate, I see Merle, Doreen, and Marty coming down the trail… Marty walking backwards. I’ve seen stranger things but was still intrigued. The whole sole of his right boot was flapping with each step. Yes, the Mailbox is going to get you one way or another.
The payoff was The Ram at the U Village where we met up with Lauran, Deb and Kelly. There were enough of us so we couldn’t fall over either direction sitting in the booth. Lauran was amazed I could consume an entire Ram burger. I can eat the burger, the fries, and all of your fries. She has been warned.
And YOU have been warned. Next year when Doreen invites you to join her for that cute-sounding Mailbox Peak hike, have your excuse ready.
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